Publisher: Amazon
Publication Date: August 7, 2024
Page count: 164 pages
My name is Gemma Stone. I’m a Maricopa County Sheriff’s Deputy and not only must I deal with the sweat-soaked misery of the Arizona desert, I get to respond to a bunch of crazy 9-1-1 calls all day long. Like a parakeet up a tree, or a car accident where a tractor trailer full of fireworks is hit and the 4th of July comes a bit early.
But some days crime takes a deadly turn. Police cars are suddenly blowing up. Detective Sergeant Dante Delgado, the love of my life, was assigned to track down and stop the bomber. Am I worried? You betcha. There’s a madman on the loose and he is very, very good at making bombs.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the Feds think I’m in cahoots with an Iraqi warlord who deals in stolen antiquities, Ichabod, my murderous ex-dance partner, escapes from prison and I’m suddenly in everyone’s crosshairs.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Julie frowned. “What the hell?”
“Hey! I want my fucking gun back,” Chief yelled.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
My temper flared to life. “Enough is enough.” I threw open the restroom door and stormed down the hallway.
Mom and Julie were right behind me.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
“It’s about fucking time. Did you hear me, or do I need to repeat myself?” Chief bellowed.
Totally ignoring my throbbing lip, I gave him my Debbie Sunshine smile. “I suggest you take it down a notch or I’ll be happy to arrest you for disturbing the peace.”
Chief sneered. “You think I’m frightened by a bunch of itty-bitty females?” His gaze crawled over my face. “And it’s obvious, you can’t fight worth a damn.”
“Wanna find out?” I challenged.
Julie stepped up. “It’s my turn to deal with obstinate jackasses who won’t listen to reason.”
“It’ll mean another arrest,” I pointed out.
Julie pulled out her cuffs. “If I book another prisoner, I meet my quota for the day, and I’ll have enough points to get that toaster oven I’ve been eyeing.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted the microwave?”
A perplexed frown on his face, Chief growled, “What the fuck are you babbling on about?”
“Hey! Wait!” Frank edged in front of me. “I haven’t met my quota for the day, let me take the arrest.”
Lucas elbowed Frank out of the way. “No, I want it. I almost have enough points to get the fishing pole.”
“Oh, hell no. I need the arrest, before someone snags the tool chest,” Jacob shot back.
Chief backed away from the counter. “You’re all fucking nuts.” He turned on his heel and left.
“Come back tomorrow and talk with Sergeant Bergman,” Julie yelled after him.
“You know, he’s right,” Sheriff Maxwell commented. “You are fucking nuts.”
Dad grinned. “Bamboozling suspects is much more fun than
beating the crap out of them.”
I
was a 9-1-1 dispatcher for the Glendale Police Department and to keep from
going totally bonkers – I mean people have no idea what a real emergency is.
Take this for example: I answered, “9-1-1 emergency, what’s your emergency?”
And this hysterical woman yelled, “My bird is in a tree.” Sometimes I really
couldn’t help myself, so I said, “Birds have a tendency to do that, ma’am.” The
woman screeched, “No! You don’t understand. My pet parakeet is in the tree.
I’ve just got to get him down.” Like I said, not a clue. “I’m sorry ma’am but
we don’t get birds out of trees.” The woman then cried, “But… What about my
husband? He’s up there, too.” See what I had to deal with? To keep from hitting
myself repeatedly in the head with my phone I took up writing.
Thank you so much for featuring STILETTOS AND GUNPOWDER today.
ReplyDeleteThe perfect escapism from the real world with lots of laugh-out-loud moments.
ReplyDeleteGail! Thank you so much for dropping in!
DeleteThe excerpt sounds really entertaining.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marcy! Be sure and enter to win an Amazon Gift Card and get this fun series.
Delete